Moving Forward

I'm not happy with where my body is right now. I feel like I've lost all control. It started during pregnancy. I had so many food aversions that when something did sound good, I at it. I ate what I wanted, whenever I wanted. That wasn't terrible. I gained around 45 pounds, just slightly above the recommended 30-40 from my doctor. Unfortunately, after Elly was born my mentality did not change. I was breastfeeding and "needed" extra calories. Truth be told, I didn't need anything extra, just my regular eating habits would have given me and her everything we needed. However, I just kept eating.

From a physical activity standpoint, I have to admit I'm not doing much better. I had a lot of bleeding at the beginning of my pregnancy and was told to "take it easy". I was given restrictions on my heart rate, lift limits, and exercise times. When I kept bleeding after following them I was advised that maybe I should stick to walking throughout my pregnancy. This was a tough blow because I had just started boxing lessons and I loved to run. After a few months, walking became more and more uncomfortable so I did it less and less. When Elly was born via c-section, I had a 6 week recovery that sidelined me from any further physical activity. After that ended I tried to work out and exercise, but my incision site hurt so bad. The incision area would cramp up when I exercised and then it would just be painful. Honestly, it still feels that way but I'm trying to work through it. I started strengthening my core and that seems to be helping a little, but I guess it's all part of the healing process.

So, some stats. According to my handheld reader I am at:

37.8% body fat.
34.3 BMI

All I can say is, gross. I do not put a lot of stock in BMI, but seeing the number that high horrifies me. But it gives me a starting point, and the way to go from here is down.

I do not plan on taking measurements. I tried before and I always forgot about them, or I would do them and forget to record them.. so I'm just not going to worry about them. As they get smaller my clothes will fit better, so I will be able to measure it that way.  I also plan to weigh myself every Sunday. I will probably cheat and step on the scale a few times during the week, but for actual "recording" - Sunday's are the day.

My official start weight [6/5/2011]: 203.6 lbs.

The Plan:
I plan to not have a specific plan. I have a schedule that I intend to follow that rotates 30 Day Shred, Tae-Bo, and running along with various cardio and strength and flexibility training.. but I will do whatever my body and mind feel like doing. I will allow myself one scheduled rest day per week and will take extra if my body tells me I need it.

I will [try] to continue to use myfitnesspal. I tend to record some things, then forget or I do a log and forget to post it.

Watch my portion sizes. I have let these get out of control, so I need to start watching it a lot more. An entire box of mac & cheese does not equate to one serving. :X

Become a No Meat Athlete. That's right, I'm cutting meat out of my diet again. I will most likely follow a lacto-ovo pescetarian diet again, at least for awhile. I am doing this for many reasons, the main reason being how much better I felt when I cut meat before. I felt better physically and emotionally, plus I had a lot more energy. It will be way more exciting this time because I have been opened up to so many new foods to eat.

So, there it is. Now I just need to stick with it and believe in myself.

Every Journey has a Beginning

This is my beginning. 

I grew up playing sports and being active. All the way through high school I was in excellent shape and I looked great (even though I didn't think so at the time). Then college happened. I gained the Freshman 15, plus a lot extra. Then lost it all after working my second summer at Cedar Point in 2006. Continued my bad habits and my weight shot back up after returning to school and stayed that way until January 2008. 

I spent Christmas vacation of 2007 in Florida. I hated going out because I did not look good in my clothes. I had love handles and muffin top plus a pudgy face and thunder thighs. No one wants to see that in a bathing suit or a mini skirt, not even myself. So, I avoided it and just stayed inside. I vowed that my "New Year's resolution would be to lose weight and get back into shape. And so, my weight loss journey began.

I weighed 168 lbs. when I started in January 2008. I started running and going to group fitness classes. I also completely changed my diet. I gave up Taco Bell, pop, and most sweets. This was very difficult for me as I had a slight addiction to Taco Bell and went more often than necessary. But I had faith in myself, and I stuck with it. From January through August I lost 28 lbs., taking me to my lowest weight of my adulthood - 140 lbs. I looked great and I felt awesome. That fall I ran three 5K races and was at the peak of my fitness. I had also became a vegetarian. 

And then I met Brent. My [now] Husband, and everything changed completely. I started eating meat again. I lost interest in running. And I had no motivation to even attempt to go to the gym. The pounds slowly started packing themselves on, but I was comfortable and didn't care, at least I pretended not to care. Over the next couple of months I made several (failed) attempts at jumping back on the wagon... better diet, start running again, the list of goals I made was endless but the motivation never lasted more than a few days, week at the most. Brent was by my side through it all, telling me I was beautiful no matter what, so I just continued what I was doing. 

October 30, 2009 changed things. Brent proposed! Now I had a wedding to plan and I had to look good in my dress. This sparked my motivation for a little while, but again it died off and my efforts as shedding weight were wasted as I regained the few pounds I managed to lose. I figured I still had plenty of time, so why rush it.

Until March 16, 2010 happened. After a long drive back from Ohio and a quick trip to the bathroom, we were starring at a stick with two pink lines! Even though we had decided we wanted a baby, neither of us expected it to happen so soon. Now I really needed to start taking care of myself and body. Unfortunately, neither of us expected there to be a few complications with the pregnancy that sidelined me from almost all exercise for the entire 9 months. 

On November 3, 2010 our beautiful baby girl was born via emergency c-section, a surgery which kept me away from any physical activity for 6 additional weeks. At this point it as had almost been an entire year since I last exercised. I had lost all of my endurance and strength, so it was basically like starting from the bottom. Because of this, and my ever increasing exhaustion from having a newborn I never fully jumped back on the wagon. I would exercise a day here and a day there, plan and make healthy meals occasionally but I couldn't get in a routine and stick with it. The 25 lbs. I lost immediately after giving birth slowly started creeping back on. 

So here we are today. My little girl is now 7 months old, and I am almost back at the weight I was when I gave birth. Not a place I ever wanted to be again. After a highly depressing vacation in Chicago, where I was humiliated in front of several dressing room mirrors by how bad I really did look I decided it was definitely time to change things around. No more being lazy. No more excuses. I need to start setting good examples for my daughter so I will be here for her for a long, long time. 

If I want to change my body, I first have to change my mind... and that's exactly what I'm doing. I plan to keep my daily logs on myfitnesspal, as well as write about my journey in this blog. No more wasting time, the time to start is now.

Some stats:

Low weight - 140 lbs. [August 2008]

High weight - 216 lbs. [November 2010 - taken the day I gave birth]

Current weight - 203 lbs. [June 5, 2011]

Goal weight - 140 lbs.

I do not have any set plans for myself. I do not have any set work out goals in mind. I just know that I need to start eating better and moving, and hopefully after a week or so I will fall into a routine and have more specifics to post.

Lets do this.