Discovering What Works For Me

When I first jumped on the weight loss wagon in 2008, it was easy. I only had myself to worry about, I was a student and had full access to an open gym, I could bike to class everyday, and I was working at Subway where I had a huge array of healthy foods to eat and pick from.

I worked out for at least two hours everyday, I ate healthy meals three times a day, and had two snacks. I switched to a vegetarian diet and completely cut out pop, coffee, and fast food. The only bad habit that stuck was smoking. For some reason I just wasn't ready to kick it. However that did not stop me from dropping nearly 35 pounds and running three 5K races. January 2008-October 2008 were the best months of my weight loss journey thus far. I was motivated and worked so hard to achieve my goals, and it all paid off.

Then, in November 2008 everything changed. I met Brent. I had been in a relationship before, but he lived 1200 miles away and did not really affect my day to day life. Brent lived here, and he started to dominate my time. Not that this was a bad thing, but it completely changed my routine and my habits.

I started eating meat again.
I stopped working out regularly.
I started to sit around a lot more.
I lost my motivation.

This was Fall 2008.

With these new changes the weight crept back on. For awhile I held steady around 160, and I was happy there. I did not dislike my body, but I hated how out of shape I had become. I decided to get back on track. This motivation streak did not last long. Due to some unfortunate events a lot of drama, confusion, and conflict I completely stopped everything. I also graduated from Central and lost my access to the gym.

During the rough patch, I gained more weight and stopped working out completely. Brent and I also got engaged.  This was fall 2009.

Winter 2009/January 2010 I decided enough was enough. I was back to my highest weight - 168 lbs. and needed to turn things around.  I signed up to start boxing lessons. These went really well. I loved being active again, and hitting the heavy bag felt so natural to me. Things were looking up again, until Brent and I had another falling out. This one was bad, and I even packed up my bags and left. I went to a friend's house in Ohio for the weekend. I felt funny the whole time, but I played it off as my nerves and anxiety. I decided to come home Monday morning. I spent almost the entire drive in tears, but could not explain why. Even though deep down, I already knew the answer.

As soon as I cane in the door I went straight to the bathroom. Since we had been "not-trying-but-not-preventing" for a baby we had stocked up on pregnancy tests. I pulled one out, peed on the stick, and sat it down to wait for 3 minutes. It had barely touched the counter when the second line came through clear as day. I sat there completely in shock before taking the test to Brent. He was beyond excited, and in that moment I knew things would be okay.

Fast forward through a complicated pregnancy where I was not allowed to do physical activity, an emergency c-section that came with a six week recovery, and then laziness after a year of being sedentary and I am here today. I am around 200 pounds. I'm not proud of it, but I'm ready to change it.

Now comes the hard part... learning that what worked for me back then will not work for me now. I cannot work out for 2 hours a day. I have a baby to watch and a Husband who works full time outside the home. I cannot dive right into a vegetarian lifestyle with such a carnivorous Husband, there will always be meat in the house. I cannot throw on my sneakers and go for a run anytime I want... did I mention the baby? Oh, and my endurance and strength are completely out the window.

I would not change any of this for anything. I love my family and Brent and Elly are my whole world, but discovering what works for me now is proving to be a difficult task, but one I am slowly trying to conquer. The weight is not dropping quickly, but I'll get there. My goal for now is to set small, obtainable goals to keep myself from getting discouraged. So far it's working. :)

Time to Commit

I created this blog a month ago, but I needed to know that I was actually ready before I felt comfortable enough posting these.

I can now, with full confidence, say that I am ready.

Last week was very, very tough on us. We had no money for groceries, so we took $15 and bought what we could. This ended up being frozen pizzas that were 10 for $10, hot dogs, some ramen, and bananas. Any chance I had at wanting a healthy diet went right out the window. BUT I ate in moderation and I did a decent work out 3 days last week. This is a big improvement for me and my body. I still get extremely sore for what most people would consider "nothing" but I am very out of shape and am trying to get back in tune with my body after being sedentary for almost 18 months.

So, here we go:

before.

I did not take measurements because I feel like I always do them wrong and inconsistently. I am trained and educated in doing measurements correctly, but for some reason cannot perform them on myself.

Pre-Pregnancy:
weight: 168 lbs.
pants: 12
shirts: small/medium
boobs: 34A

At Delivery:
weight: 214 lbs.
pants: sweats :)
shirts: large/x-large
boobs: 38C (!!!!!)

Now:
start weight: 203 lbs.
current weight: 199.8 lbs.
pants: 17/18
shirts: large/x-large
boobs: 38B

I have been doing consistent work outs on the Wii Fit, as well as running when I can and strength training regularly. I have started Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred about 8 times, but it is so hard to do with Elly. I realize it's only 20 minutes, but with a mobile baby it is near impossible to finish one session uninterrupted, so for now I'm holding off on that.

I am hoping to post progress pics every month as well as weigh in updates every Sunday! I am trying to avoid exercise logs/schedules because right now I just squeeze in what I can, whenever I can and it seems to be working :)

Side note: I am proud of my stretch marks and they do not bother me as much as I thought they would, I do put lotion on them after I shower but am not doing anything else to actively help get them to go away. If they fade, they fade but I am proud of my body for growing my little peanut so they are like my battle wounds :) AND I can still wear my rings on my finger but I choose not to because I am terrified of scratching Elly with them while I'm changing her or holding her. :)

Moving Forward

I'm not happy with where my body is right now. I feel like I've lost all control. It started during pregnancy. I had so many food aversions that when something did sound good, I at it. I ate what I wanted, whenever I wanted. That wasn't terrible. I gained around 45 pounds, just slightly above the recommended 30-40 from my doctor. Unfortunately, after Elly was born my mentality did not change. I was breastfeeding and "needed" extra calories. Truth be told, I didn't need anything extra, just my regular eating habits would have given me and her everything we needed. However, I just kept eating.

From a physical activity standpoint, I have to admit I'm not doing much better. I had a lot of bleeding at the beginning of my pregnancy and was told to "take it easy". I was given restrictions on my heart rate, lift limits, and exercise times. When I kept bleeding after following them I was advised that maybe I should stick to walking throughout my pregnancy. This was a tough blow because I had just started boxing lessons and I loved to run. After a few months, walking became more and more uncomfortable so I did it less and less. When Elly was born via c-section, I had a 6 week recovery that sidelined me from any further physical activity. After that ended I tried to work out and exercise, but my incision site hurt so bad. The incision area would cramp up when I exercised and then it would just be painful. Honestly, it still feels that way but I'm trying to work through it. I started strengthening my core and that seems to be helping a little, but I guess it's all part of the healing process.

So, some stats. According to my handheld reader I am at:

37.8% body fat.
34.3 BMI

All I can say is, gross. I do not put a lot of stock in BMI, but seeing the number that high horrifies me. But it gives me a starting point, and the way to go from here is down.

I do not plan on taking measurements. I tried before and I always forgot about them, or I would do them and forget to record them.. so I'm just not going to worry about them. As they get smaller my clothes will fit better, so I will be able to measure it that way.  I also plan to weigh myself every Sunday. I will probably cheat and step on the scale a few times during the week, but for actual "recording" - Sunday's are the day.

My official start weight [6/5/2011]: 203.6 lbs.

The Plan:
I plan to not have a specific plan. I have a schedule that I intend to follow that rotates 30 Day Shred, Tae-Bo, and running along with various cardio and strength and flexibility training.. but I will do whatever my body and mind feel like doing. I will allow myself one scheduled rest day per week and will take extra if my body tells me I need it.

I will [try] to continue to use myfitnesspal. I tend to record some things, then forget or I do a log and forget to post it.

Watch my portion sizes. I have let these get out of control, so I need to start watching it a lot more. An entire box of mac & cheese does not equate to one serving. :X

Become a No Meat Athlete. That's right, I'm cutting meat out of my diet again. I will most likely follow a lacto-ovo pescetarian diet again, at least for awhile. I am doing this for many reasons, the main reason being how much better I felt when I cut meat before. I felt better physically and emotionally, plus I had a lot more energy. It will be way more exciting this time because I have been opened up to so many new foods to eat.

So, there it is. Now I just need to stick with it and believe in myself.

Every Journey has a Beginning

This is my beginning. 

I grew up playing sports and being active. All the way through high school I was in excellent shape and I looked great (even though I didn't think so at the time). Then college happened. I gained the Freshman 15, plus a lot extra. Then lost it all after working my second summer at Cedar Point in 2006. Continued my bad habits and my weight shot back up after returning to school and stayed that way until January 2008. 

I spent Christmas vacation of 2007 in Florida. I hated going out because I did not look good in my clothes. I had love handles and muffin top plus a pudgy face and thunder thighs. No one wants to see that in a bathing suit or a mini skirt, not even myself. So, I avoided it and just stayed inside. I vowed that my "New Year's resolution would be to lose weight and get back into shape. And so, my weight loss journey began.

I weighed 168 lbs. when I started in January 2008. I started running and going to group fitness classes. I also completely changed my diet. I gave up Taco Bell, pop, and most sweets. This was very difficult for me as I had a slight addiction to Taco Bell and went more often than necessary. But I had faith in myself, and I stuck with it. From January through August I lost 28 lbs., taking me to my lowest weight of my adulthood - 140 lbs. I looked great and I felt awesome. That fall I ran three 5K races and was at the peak of my fitness. I had also became a vegetarian. 

And then I met Brent. My [now] Husband, and everything changed completely. I started eating meat again. I lost interest in running. And I had no motivation to even attempt to go to the gym. The pounds slowly started packing themselves on, but I was comfortable and didn't care, at least I pretended not to care. Over the next couple of months I made several (failed) attempts at jumping back on the wagon... better diet, start running again, the list of goals I made was endless but the motivation never lasted more than a few days, week at the most. Brent was by my side through it all, telling me I was beautiful no matter what, so I just continued what I was doing. 

October 30, 2009 changed things. Brent proposed! Now I had a wedding to plan and I had to look good in my dress. This sparked my motivation for a little while, but again it died off and my efforts as shedding weight were wasted as I regained the few pounds I managed to lose. I figured I still had plenty of time, so why rush it.

Until March 16, 2010 happened. After a long drive back from Ohio and a quick trip to the bathroom, we were starring at a stick with two pink lines! Even though we had decided we wanted a baby, neither of us expected it to happen so soon. Now I really needed to start taking care of myself and body. Unfortunately, neither of us expected there to be a few complications with the pregnancy that sidelined me from almost all exercise for the entire 9 months. 

On November 3, 2010 our beautiful baby girl was born via emergency c-section, a surgery which kept me away from any physical activity for 6 additional weeks. At this point it as had almost been an entire year since I last exercised. I had lost all of my endurance and strength, so it was basically like starting from the bottom. Because of this, and my ever increasing exhaustion from having a newborn I never fully jumped back on the wagon. I would exercise a day here and a day there, plan and make healthy meals occasionally but I couldn't get in a routine and stick with it. The 25 lbs. I lost immediately after giving birth slowly started creeping back on. 

So here we are today. My little girl is now 7 months old, and I am almost back at the weight I was when I gave birth. Not a place I ever wanted to be again. After a highly depressing vacation in Chicago, where I was humiliated in front of several dressing room mirrors by how bad I really did look I decided it was definitely time to change things around. No more being lazy. No more excuses. I need to start setting good examples for my daughter so I will be here for her for a long, long time. 

If I want to change my body, I first have to change my mind... and that's exactly what I'm doing. I plan to keep my daily logs on myfitnesspal, as well as write about my journey in this blog. No more wasting time, the time to start is now.

Some stats:

Low weight - 140 lbs. [August 2008]

High weight - 216 lbs. [November 2010 - taken the day I gave birth]

Current weight - 203 lbs. [June 5, 2011]

Goal weight - 140 lbs.

I do not have any set plans for myself. I do not have any set work out goals in mind. I just know that I need to start eating better and moving, and hopefully after a week or so I will fall into a routine and have more specifics to post.

Lets do this.